By Cam Edwards
Does the Modern Man really require a melon baller in his kitchen while prohibiting a firearm in his house? Does the Modern Man really go shoe shopping for his significant other, and does he really know which brands run big or small? Is the Modern Man really required to listen to Wu-Tang Clan once a week? What happens if we don't? Will some hipster in tight jeans and a pair of Rachel Maddow glasses show up at my farmhouse to revoke my Man Card?
The New York Times offered up these bits of advice in the piece "27 Ways to be a Modern Man," but in my new book, "Heavy Lifting: Grow Up, Get a Job, Get Married, and Other Manly Advice," co-authored with Jim Geraghty, I see manliness a little differently, one that looks less like Pajama Boy and more like a responsible Ward Cleaver.
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Being a man has nothing to do with shoe shopping. And according to the Modern Women we know, that's perfectly OK. They're not really looking for a personal shopper, after all. In fact, I'll take that a step further to say most women are not pining away for the New York Times definition of a Modern Man. They're looking for something a little more timeless.
So, while the Modern Man of the New York Times charges his kid's iPad before going to bed, the Timeless Man is more concerned about tucking his kids into bed and then reading them a bedtime story. Timeless Man cares more about his kids learning to take responsibility for charging their own electronic devices, along with other chores such as keeping their room clean and bringing their laundry downstairs.
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Modern Man has apparently "thought seriously about buying a shoehorn." Let's be real. The actual ownership of a shoehorn appears to be of minimal importance to the Modern Man. The real key is pondering the idea of owning a shoehorn, perhaps by quizzing your friends about their shoehorn habits, followed by spending several hours online looking for a handmade shoehorn carved out of hickory wood by Amish craftsmen.
Timeless Man, on the other hand, is busy teaching his kids how to tie their shoes using the "Story of the Long, Sad Eared Rabbit" method. He may own a shoehorn, but it's not likely he actually pondered the decision. More than likely it was either thrown in for free when he bought shoes at some point, or it was a stocking stuffer from his wife at Christmas. Traditional Man has no idea if any of his friends own shoehorns of their own, nor does he plan on asking. This is because Traditional Man doesn't really care about shoehorns. In fact, Traditional Man has already skipped ahead to the next paragraph because he's bored reading about them.
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So let's talk about guns instead, even though the Modern Man of the New York Times would really rather we not. In fact, according to author Brian Lombardi's list, "the modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn't own one, and he never will." This is too bad for Modern Man, because in addition to the fact that he's wrong, an awful lot of Modern Women do own firearms, and this attitude might be a deal breaker for them.
Timeless Man knows there are plenty of uses for a firearm – whether it's hunting, competitive shooting, self-defense, or just plinking with friends and family. Timeless Man knows that owning a gun doesn't automatically make you a man, but he also understands that rejecting the idea of gun ownership doesn't make you one, either. The Timeless Man does, however, accept responsibility for the safety of his family. He makes sure the smoke alarms work. He locks the doors before heading off to bed. And if need be, he's willing to fight to protect the ones he loves.
The Modern Man may cry often, but the Timeless Man rarely does. There's a time and place for everything, but you're likely to only see tears in a Timeless Man's eyes at a funeral, the birth of a child, or a really hard hit to his groin. This doesn't mean he's lacking emotion. It just means he doesn't feel the need to blubber on a frequent basis.
It's not all bad news when it comes to the Modern Man. Even the New York Times version of manhood has grown up, gotten a job, married and had a kid. He's capable of the heavy lifting of adulthood, even if he is a little distracted by the extraneous stuff like whether or not he has hardwood floors or how he jots down his grocery list. At his core, though, the Modern Man still retains many of the traditional more timeless attributes of manhood. He just needs to learn the differences between the trivial and the timeless.
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Cam Edwards hosts "Cam & Company," a three-hour radio/web show from NRA News available on Sportsman Channel, SiriusXM Satellite Radio, NRANews.com, iHeartRadio, and iTunes, with a large and loyal audience dedicated to firearm freedoms. His "Cam's Corner" column appears monthly in America's First Freedom magazine, with a circulation of 545,000. Prior to joining NRA News, Edwards worked at TV and radio stations located in Oklahoma and Arkansas. Edwards resides in Farmville, Virginia, and enjoys rural life with his wife and children. "Heavy Lifting: Grow Up, Get a Job, Get Married, and Other Manly Advice" is his first book.