Did you hear the one about …?

Jokes can die, like every other living thing. Examples:

The joke-wranglers tell of a third-rate American photographer who, in a fit of luck and audacity, managed to finagle himself an invitation to London's Buckingham Palace to be received by Queen Elizabeth. The rules are merciless. As the queen greets you in the receiving line she will ask you some innocuous question, which you are required to answer in an equally innocuous manner. You then move along smartly.

This third-rate American photographer either didn't know the rules or was having none of it. After soliciting his name Her Majesty asked his profession. "I'm a photographer," he replied. "That's interesting," said Queen Elizabeth. "I have a brother-in-law who's a photographer." "That is indeed interesting," said the photographer. "I have a brother-in-law who's a queen!"

That shard of wit was born in 1960 when Queen Elizabeth's younger sister, Princess Margaret Rose, married British photographer Antony Armstrong-Jones, and it died in 1978 when that marriage ended in divorce, leaving Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth bereft of any brother-in-law who happened to be a photographer.

Moving along, in the 1970s and '80s Cubans used to regale one another with the question, "What's the largest country in the world?" The answer: "Cuba! The territory's in the Caribbean. The government's in Moscow. The army's in Africa, and the population is in Miami, Tampa and Jersey City!"

TRENDING: May the Farce be with you

The power unleashed by that little capsule of comedy did its part to alleviate the drudgery and un-funniness of Cuban Communism for a nice long time. Its power, however, began to fray in 1991, when the regime in Moscow gave up on Communism and the Cuban army's presence in sub-Saharan Africa had failed to trigger any pro-Communist uprisings. When freedom returns to Cuba you can expect a big fuss made in the main cemetery in Havana honoring the "Tomb of the Well-Known Joke"!

Some jokes don't exactly die; they just enter what we'll call a "loose-leaf limbo." All you do is change a word or two to bring a venerable joke back up to date. In 1939, when Britain and France were exploring how much of Poland and Czechoslovakia they could give away to avoid war with Nazi Germany and still hang on to their beloved "peace," you heard all over Poland and Czechoslovakia, "The Germans spit in our faces and we pretend it's raining."

One generation later, the children of those same Poles and Czechs were saying, "The Russians spit in our faces and we pretend it's raining." But Obama's America is the only superpower in history that "pretends it's raining"!

Another "loose-leaf" joke is the one where the 14-year-old on his bicycle passes a lake where the dictator is taking an unscheduled dip. The dictator loses it in the deep water and starts to drown. The motorcade and dozens of bodyguards look helplessly upon the scene as the young boy darts into the lake and rescues the dictator. Catching his breath on the shore the dictator says, "Young man, you have saved my life. You may have anything you want. Do you want money, women, free college, a motorcycle to replace your modest old bike? Whatever you want, just name it and it shall be yours!" "I don't need any money," said the young man. "And I'm a little young for women. And I'm happy with my little old bicycle. There's only one thing I really want," concluded the lad. "Name it and it shall be yours," boomed the dictator. "Thank you," said the lad. "Just please promise me you won't let my father know I rescued you!"

As a talk-host and foreign correspondent I think I've heard that one regarding Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin and literally every other dictator of our time except Tito of Yugoslavia and Enver Hoxha of Albania.

The one joke people like me hope never dies is "The Real Story of Camp David." In 1977 three leaders gathered at Camp David to make peace. They were Egyptian President Anwar Sadat, Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin and American President Jimmy Carter. After endless negotiations the three leaders decided to leave their security guards behind and take a walk together in the lush woodlands surrounding Camp David.

Soon they heard the voice of God, no less, booming down upon them. They fell to their knees. "Arise, My sons," called forth the Lord. "You don't belong on your knees. You are doing my work, making peace. As your reward you shall have the answer to any question you ask."

Carter went first. "Dear Lord, when will we have a nuclear-free world?" "In 3366," replied the Lord. And President Carter began to cry. "Why do you cry?" asked the Lord. "Alas, not in my administration," sobbed Carter.

Egypt's Sadat then asked, "Dear Lord, when will my Arab brethren all be united?" "In 4806," replied the Lord. And Sadat began to cry. "Why do you cry?" asked the Lord "Alas, not in my administration," replied the Egyptian president.

Israel's Menachem Begin then asked, "Dear Lord, when will Israel begin to get fair treatment in the American media?"

And then God began to cry.

And Carter, Sadat and Begin shouted, "Dear Lord. Why do you cry?"

And God replied, "Alas, not in my administration!"

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