Well, poop!

By Craige McMillan

The phrase, “Well, poop!” actually has wider applicability than just the obvious within America today: gender-specific, neutral or sexually unidentifiable restrooms in public places.

The phrase certainly can be applied to this election season. Heaven help the candidate who while trying to address an issue of concern to most voters inadvertently strays during an expansive moment and trips over a political mouth-block. There will be no mention of what the candidate was talking about or responding to. What will happen, however, is a series of seemingly never-ending, mouse-clicky, blood-thirsty “news” headlines feeding off the most mindless and insignificant element of the candidate’s wandering words.

Masses of perennially, perpetually offended people who have never been part of the political process (and probably didn’t know it existed) suddenly emerge on the Internet, newspaper stories, talk radio and television broadcasts to savage the character, life, accomplishments and descendants on out to future generations of the “offender.” His or her only hope for rehabilitation lies in acknowledging failure in life, thought and deed – all while begging forgiveness of the unforgiving.

“Well, poop!” aptly applies to most of what government says and does today, as well. New and previously unforeseeable threats to property and even existence constantly emerge, whether through government incompetence or by design. Much of it happens magically, without Congress’ involvement. Much like the “big bang,” one day the threat did not exist and the next day it does! One’s property can once again be accused of a crime and confiscated by eager bureaucrats who will personally benefit from its seizure. “The reason I shot him in the back, your honor, is that he disputed my right to seize his property.” “Completely understandable, officer. The police and the court still split 50/50, right?”

Education hysterically historically has been the answer of choice for the now senile ’60s radicals who occupied university administration buildings and never left. Their tenure has served them well, fattening their wallets and fomenting their ideology out over a resistant but captive audience delivered by unwitting parents. The new ideology, having been repeated often and loudly enough, has become the new truth of those who stridently preach that truth does not exist.

The world, which for most of its existence since humanity walked away from God, has been a mess and seems to be growing into a truly nasty disaster-in-waiting. Genetic modification, the spread of nukes, terror-in-a-bottle kits, drone delivery and toxic philosophies in religious costume serve to justify mass murder and mayhem. Much of the recent agitation seems to have accompanied America’s efforts to export its moral decay into utter cluelessness outward to other nations, who thought we just wanted to help feed them or abort their children to help save the world.

Our level of cluelessness can most obviously be seen with America’s “elites” assisting – no, demanding – that Americans have the right and necessary assistance to kill 60 to 70 million of their own babies, and then turning around and begging immigrants from everywhere to enter the nation illegally so those same elites can pay the social security tab run up by the generation that let it all happen: the boomers.

As to most of the proposed solutions for this worldwide disaster-in-waiting, the expression, “Well, poop!” is probably the best that can be said. Internationally, the “solution” is either let’s have our corrupt elites buy off their corrupt elites and make the problem disappear from public view, or failing that, bomb them into the stone age. The latter seems to be less successful these days since much of the world has already either been bombed or bombed itself back into the stone age, and thus does not see this as a credible threat.

Have no fear for the future, however. The same people who brought you the modern world’s disaster-in-waiting have a plan to fix it! All it requires is that you continue to give them absolute power to make more of the same great choices that have worked so well in the past! Pay off our nation’s debts with a penny-of-a-penny on the dollar. Let the tech billionaires work out humanity’s future and brave new immortality. And whatever you do, no matter how bad it gets, don’t you dare appeal directly to the Creator for any help! We got you into this mess – and by god we’ll get you out of it!


God, Satan, and the Elites

Media wishing to interview Craige McMillan, please contact [email protected].

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