Hail, Britannia!

By Burt Prelutsky

Perhaps it’s because we get so little good news on this side of the Atlantic, but I found myself ecstatic when I heard that the Brits had bid bye-bye to the E.U. Although they hadn’t needed to fire a musket, they had nevertheless fought for their own independence and, like their American cousins 240 years ago, they won against seemingly impossible odds. We have our July 4; they now have their June 23.

In addition to which, Prime Minister David Cameron, Obama’s partner in crime, read the writing on the wall and announced he will be stepping down in October. So, within three months of each other, the two schmucks who had the most to do with selling us out with the Iran nuclear deal will be history.


Someone sent me the following definition of white privilege: “It’s being held accountable for the acts of your distant ancestors by people who accept no responsibility for the acts of their own children.”

Another person reminded me that either Obama or one of his representatives showed up at the funerals of Freddie Gray, Michael Brown and Trayvon Martin, but not at the funeral of Kathryn Steinle, the young woman who was strolling with her father in San Francisco when she was shot dead by an illegal alien who’d already been deported five times.

Experience more of Burt Prelutsky’s humor and wit in his books — at WND’s Superstore.

But midst all the hoopla over new gun laws, what’s too often ignored is that, with the strictest laws in the nation, 329 people have been murdered in Chicago this year. In 77 percent of the cases, the killers were blacks, 18 percent were Hispanic and 5 percent were white or “other,” meaning they may have been Asian, Pacific Islanders or Martians. But, astonishingly, not one of the 329 was a member of the NRA!

I know it conflicts with the narrative spun by Obama, Mrs. Clinton and the members of the Congressional Black Caucus, and I acknowledge it might be a fanciful notion, but is it just possible that the violence in urban communities has less to do with the NRA, the confederate flag and Republicans, than it does with the fact that 72 percent of black babies are born to unwed mothers on welfare?


Someone suggested that Trump should start holding his rallies at construction zones because everyone knows that protesters would never dare show up at a job site.


Even after Attorney General Loretta Lynch promised to be transparent and forthcoming about the transcriptions of Omar Mateen’s phone and text messages, she went ahead and changed “Allah” to “God.” Transparent, yes, even if not in the way she meant; but forthcoming? Not so much.

I know you think I make up some of this stuff, but I swear Ms. Lynch actually said that our best defense against terrorism was “compassion and love.” I tell you, Obama isn’t just a racist, a traitor and a fool, the S.O.B. is contagious.


How is it that we never hear that the U.S. is hacking Russian and Chinese computers? I know this administration would claim they wouldn’t want word to get out. Why not? It would finally be a bit of foreign policy they could actually brag about. At the very least, someone not in the employ of the feds should hack the bastards and find out exactly what they managed to extract from Mrs. Clinton’s private server.

Speaking of China, isn’t it high time we stopped importing all its crap, providing it with the American dollars it so desperately needs now that its economy is beginning to tank? At the very least, we should stop buying its damn dog food, which, more likely than not, has dog as its main ingredient. On top of all the other evil they commit, those commie degenerates are turning our pets into cannibals.


As the son of immigrants, I’m really getting sick of liberals claiming Republicans are racists because we’re against Hispanic aliens swarming into the country. The hypocrites pretend there is no difference between foreigners who come here the right way and those who sneak in like the thieves they are. Anyone who objects to my use of “thieves” will have to explain what they would call those who not only come here illegally, but, once on American soil, feel entitled to grab whatever they can from the American taxpayer.

As for Obama, who seems hell-bent on raising doubts when it comes to his patriotism and his religion by flying in thousands of Muslims, any number of whom have murder on their minds, I find myself fantasizing about him almost as much as he no doubt fantasizes about George Clooney or Denzel Washington. The difference is that in mine, Obama is fully clothed and is being horse-whipped just prior to his being tossed in Leavenworth.


A reader let me know that when his son was teaching at a small college in North Carolina, he became acquainted with a Muslim convert to Christianity. The man explained that there are three kinds of Muslims.

“There are those willing to kill you; there are those who won’t kill you personally, but will help someone else kill you; and then there is the great mass of ‘peaceful Muslims’ who won’t kill you and won’t help someone else kill you, but do agree that you need killing.”


I’m reminded that in the wake of Brexit, someone let me know that Scotland, which wishes to remain in the E.U., will vote to toss off the yoke of British masters in favor of E.U. masters.

To which I replied: “Then they had better learn to speak Arabic because they are a very small country, and Brussels will be sending a horde of Muslims to the Highlands, and the kilt will soon be replaced by the burka.”

He wrote back to say “The Scots are conditioned to be ruled, not governed.”

I let him know that while I couldn’t comment about the Scots, that certainly seemed to be the case with Arabs, Muslims and liberals.


In case you weren’t fully aware of how depraved our society has become, there was, until it was recently shut down, a “game” on Google that allowed players to “kill” Jews at Auschwitz.

In an online review, one player complained that although he very much enjoyed the game, a major drawback was that “every 20 minutes or so the oven fills up and I have to remove the ashes.”

If I’m not mistaken, that was also Adolf Eichmann’s major complaint.

Media wishing to interview Burt Prelutsky, please contact [email protected].

Burt Prelutsky

Burt Prelutsky has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times, a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine and a freelance writer for TV Guide, Modern Maturity, the New York Times and Sports Illustrated. His latest book is entitled ""Barack Obama, You're Fired! (And Don't Bother Asking for a Recommendation)." Read more of Burt Prelutsky's articles here.


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