Meet the reindeer who thinks he’s a dog

Lifestyle of the rich and famous – in ancient Britain

Country estate in Roman Britain

Country estate in Roman Britain

A lavish fifth-century Roman villa has been recently uncovered in Somerset, England according to the UK’s Mirror.

Dr. James Gerrard of Newcastle University, leading the dig, explains: “What we’re looking at here is in modern terms equivalent to David Beckham‘s house,” the famed British footballer who calls his own home Beckingham Palace.

Archeological dig

Archeological dig

Translated, that means that the villa unearthed in Somerset is proving to be a viable example of what roughly only 2 percent of Roman society would experience.

But before thinking “Robin Leach” and delving into the “wow” factor of ancient high society, it pays to put matters into context.

Wealthy Romans may well have had it better than their peasant counterparts, but their understanding of luxury left much to be desired. Take a look at the following list from Mark Oliver at ListVerse and hold onto your lunch:

  • Romans washed their mouths out with urine
  • A community sponge was used at community latrines
  • Toilets regularly exploded (methane gas anyone?)
  • Gladiator blood was drunk as medicine
  • Gladiator sweat and skin slough was used as lady’s face cream (Belly button lint? Saved for under the eyes?)
  • Obscene art (Lost your way? Phallic symbols pointed the way to the brothel)
  • Try phallic necklaces to ward off evil
  • Romans hold record for earliest, documented mooning (great way to unsettle those temple priests)
  • Just vomit to make way for more eating!
  • Charioteers consumed an “energy drink” made of goat dung (yummy!)

No boyfriend – you’re gonna work for Jesus

Some say the stereotype of the overprotective dad is over. Dads like that are passé and indicative of a double-standard mentality (but only when it’s applied to girls). Critics say dads like this are best left behind with cave-dwelling supervised courtship, and basically anything that would get in the way of young men and women pretending that modern social constructs can override the reality of human nature, including their own.

But here’s a dad who actually cares about his daughter, enough to tell her she’s “gonna work for Jesus” rather than get a boyfriend. Watch, learn and commiserate your own ongoing trials of childrearing, or relive those sweet moments of the past, as a four-year-old debates the whys and why nots of having a boyfriend if she wants one:

Not all daughters appreciate their fathers’ protection. Casey Suglia at Romper recounts:

I can remember the first time I brought a boy home to meet my parents and how much I feared it. I was only 17, had just graduated high school, and finally had the confidence to bring someone home to my overprotective father. It was a bad decision. “What do you mean he drives a car with a Boston Red Sox bumper sticker? You want to date this guy?” my dad, a diehard New York Yankees fan, had asked me. “Where did you meet him again?”

While I knew my dad had good intentions, I felt suffocated and embarrassed. Most importantly, I felt like I didn’t have a voice into what kind of decisions I made for myself – why did my dad have to “protect” me from a boy who I met at a high school debate tournament? Why did he feel the need to have the last word on my well-thought-over decision?

Suglia asks, why was her father protective? That’s easy: Fatherhood is a proprietary relationship. A father’s protective instinct is precisely that – instinct. That instinct, much to the chagrin of the daughter, can include teasing which often causes hurt feelings and more-than-a-few chuckles on behalf of parents.

But Suglia’s choice of a Red Sox fan was not a bad decision, as she foolishly laments. It was just another step in growing up.

Hiding one’s choices out of fear of contradiction doesn’t make a person strong. Rather, it makes a person weak and easily dissuaded by the bluster that is inevitably part of the landscape of life.

Even those funny t-shirts Dad’s wear to stave off the inevitable angst that comes with watching one’s little girl grow to womanhood in today’s world is under fire. Suglia writes:

A quick Google image search for “overprotective dad” pulls up dozens of pictures of memes, older men with guns posing next to their daughter and her prom date, or pictures of t-shirts that say “Danger: Over-Protective Father” and “Sorry Boys, Can’t Date Until I’m 30.” But while these shirts may be funny to some, they send a message that teens and daughters are someone’s property and they can’t freely make decisions for themselves.

Suglia misconstrued her father’s intentions and subverted reality (including basic biology), which led her to an error in thinking … if she thought at all.

Prom season

For while Suglia pretends that such t-shirts send a message of daughter’s being nothing but property, the message is deeper: that a man’s daughter is far more than just a piece of property.

Unfortunately, that is not a lesson many young girls learn about themselves when faced with the pressure of dating, even dating those young gentlemen that they have selected by means of modern “standards” … standards which are increasingly unhinged from the realities of cause and effect.

So if you want your children, be they boys or girls, to be strong and capable, don’t hold to the ridiculous notion that being a protective (or even an opinionated) parent is bad thing. It is a natural thing. And if your kids are strong enough, and smart, they will learn to navigate those first hurdles so they make grounded, long-term decisions in their life, not weep over the very headstrong nature that makes their father’s protective in the first place.

Whatever you do to my daughter

You’re gonna work for Jesus. End of story!

Bought a bus

How do you ‘accidentally’ buy a bus?

Yes, a British “man” accidentally bought a bus while out partying.

KVUE has the story of the unfortunate individual who, unlike unlike Casey Suglia over at Romper, may well have been deprived of the learning experience of an overprotective father intent on vetting the particulars of his children’s choices … including the wisdom of shopping while intoxicated.

“In the Facebook post,” notes KVUE, “Davie Little said that he was visiting a club in Spain when he accidentally made the purchase on eBay.”

But, in the spirit of the immortal wisdom of she who would remove the rational from a person’s feelings of empowerment, it was his choice.


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