What God hates

It seems we are living in the day of the tabloid mentality. I have never seen a culture and a society so obsessed with gossip, innuendo and rumor. People are looking for the next juicy piece of gossip.

This thinking has even slipped into the news media. The tragic thing today is that if someone is charged with a crime, he or she is tried and convicted in the media before even having had the opportunity to go into a court of law, have evidence presented and face the people doing the accusing.

The Bible tells us that love believes the best of every person; it doesn't say that love believes the worst of everyone. As the great British preacher Charles Spurgeon said, "If there were no gratified hearers of ill reports, there would be an end of the trade of spreading them."

Many times we believe as gospel what we hear about someone else. To make matters worse, we begin to spread an unsubstantiated rumor without checking the facts. Then we find ourselves causing divisions.

God doesn't take kindly to people who do that. In fact, the Bible identifies it as one of the very things God hates: "a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community" (Proverbs 6:19). This is a person who spreads rumors, who spreads innuendo, who slanders others. God hates that.

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And it also brings grief to him when we're bitter, when we rage and when we're angry for no just cause. We're told in the book of Ephesians, "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice" (4:30–31 NIV). Interestingly, these are specifically identified as things that grieve the Holy Spirit.

So much damage can be caused by our words. If only we would think first and speak later. If only we would contemplate how our words will affect someone else.

The Bible says that "everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19 NIV).

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Statistics show that the average person spends at least one-fifth of his or her life talking. That is the average person, by the way. I'm sure some people far exceed that. Ordinarily, in a single day, the average person speaks enough words to fill a 50-page book. In a year's time, the average person's words would fill 132 books, each containing 400 pages. What if all of your words were written down for a year? What would we find in that content?

The mnemonic THINK is good rule to apply when we hear something we may tempted to pass along to someone else: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? Is it kind?

I heard the story of an elderly grandfather who happened to be very wealthy. He was losing his hearing, so he reluctantly went and bought himself hearing aids. Someone remarked, "Well, your relatives must be happy to know that you can hear so much better."

The old man chuckled and said, "Well, actually I haven't told them yet. I've just been sitting around, listening. And you know what? I've changed my will twice."

If you've ever had someone spread rumors about you or slander you, then you know how painful it can be. Which brings us to something else we need to learn: how to forgive.

Matthew's gospel tells of a time when Peter came to Jesus with a question:

"Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?"

Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven" (18:21–22 NKJV).

I know that is not an easy thing to do when you've been wronged. But when you forgive someone, you release a prisoner: yourself.

Talk about a person who had been wronged. Look at Joseph and all the horrible things his brothers had done to him, selling him into slavery and betraying him – their own flesh and blood. Yet through an amazing course of events that were directed by the hand of God, Joseph was made the second-most powerful man in the world at that time. And one day as he was in charge of the food supply, his brothers were brought before him – the very ones who had betrayed him.

With one word they could have been headless brothers, and that would have been the ultimate story of vengeance and payback. But I love the text in Genesis 50 where Joseph said, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives" (verses 19–20 NIV).

Joseph forgave them. Did they deserve it? No. But if we're going to get around to that kind of thinking, do you deserve to be forgiven by God? No. Nor do I. So forgive as God has forgiven you.

There is no point in burying a hatchet if you're going to put a marker on the site. Let it go. Forgive. Put it behind you, because the problem with bitterness is that it spreads. You can't keep it to yourself. Bitter people want to pull more people into their web of misery. That is why the Bible warns about a root of bitterness that can spring up and defile many (see Hebrews 12:14–15).

Let's not be people who hold grudges. Let's not be people who spread rumors. Let's not be people who gossip. It's wrong, and it's displeasing to God.

May God help us to follow his guidelines.