Please let me prove to the nearest liberal that there is, indeed, such a thing as a free lunch. I’ll happily provide one if liberals can explain what they mean when they ask Donald Trump if he will “accept the results” of next month’s election. I’m particularly curious to learn how you can “not accept” election results. Maybe there are other downers in life we can learn how not to accept!

Surely they’re not asking Mr. Trump if he intends to copy that dismal and dreadful page from the “Latin American Caudillos’ Handbook” on how to marshal dissident forces in the military to take over the presidential palace while your allies grab radio, television and the all-important Ministry of the Interior!

I will not say our best American days are behind us. I will say our best habits are corkscrewed into the DNA of our American soul. You can be sure that whoever is declared the winner of Nov. 8’s general election will spend from Nov. 9 to Jan. 20, 2017, taking in congratulations and preparing to be inaugurated president.

You will not find Americans recruiting rabble-rousers and passing out pitchforks and rifles forcing the real winners to seek asylum in the Guatemalan Embassy while illegitimate gangs and goons take over America.

That won’t happen. But what is happening is too close for anybody’s comfort. Election cheating is a destructive abomination conservatives and liberals must join together and extirpate by the roots or we’ll deserve every twinge of the pain that awaits.

My day job since 1960 has been radio talk-host, and if you were to ask me what was my biggest failure throughout all those decades, the answer would be elementary. More than half-a-dozen times after one of my urgent sermons against voter fraud I’ve gotten correspondence from listeners who were ashamed of having been part of vote-stealing operations and wanted to atone. But they all flat-out refused to come on the air and talk about how their particular brand of vote-stealing works. I can’t hate them. This is big-deal stuff, and their very lives are at stake if they give any significant portion of the game away.

Several times they’ve invited me to read their detailed “confessions” and talk about their ways-and-means on-the-air. That’s nowhere near as effective as having vote-stealers describe how they steal votes, but it’s far better than nothing. The most recent “whistleblower” ran the Ohio swindle. Here’s what he told me:

Take the most populous part of a state and set it aside. Their votes will be reported last. In Ohio that was Cuyahoga County, which includes Cleveland. Then “the boys” sit back on election night and watch. Their deeply held creed is “Never steal more votes than absolutely necessary.” If things are going well statewide, not one vote will be stolen. If not, those “boys” will “enhance” the vote from the power-house portion of the state as much as necessary to deliver Ohio to the “rightful stealer.”

It feels cheap and cowardly sitting here as a self-exposed Trump supporter and identifying those stealers as operatives of the Democratic Party. Sorry about that, but everybody in the art and science of vote fraud concedes that’s just the way it is!

I’m grateful to Donald Trump for calling major and long overdue attention to this disease of vote fraud that has just as much power to destroy democracy as the troops and tanks of a dictator.

Children are especially susceptible to sermons about good and evil. I clearly and cleanly remember graduating from the second grade feeling so good that I lived in a country that preached and practiced non-violent transfer of power from the loser to the winner of fair elections. Whether Trump wins your vote or not, we’re all indebted to him for getting two vital points across that we all sort-of, kind-of knew all along but never lifted one joint of a little finger to remedy. One of those points is the ease with which people can enter the United States illicitly. The other is how easy it is to steal elections, up to and including national elections for president.

Particularly frightening is the ease with which computer voting can be manipulated. My betters are ready to demonstrate, to anyone with a desire to eliminate fraud, how absurdly easy the technology of computer vote-theft is. The teachers of all that trickery are ready, willing and eager to teach. But the students can’t seem to find their way to class.

So, merrily we stumble along to democracy’s demise, following along behind those “boys” from the Democratic clubhouse in Chicago. Two of their finest were in a graveyard in the middle of the night, copying names from tombstones to bring them back to life, at least politically. One of them fell a row, then two rows behind the other.

“What’s the matter?” shouted the name-taker in the lead. “Hurry it up, will you?” His teammate who was lagging behind complained, “The name on this tombstone is one of those long complicated ones, probably Polish.” “Well,” shouted the other, “Forget about that one. Go on to the next one.”

In a burst of righteous democratic zeal the laggard yelled, “What do you mean, ‘Go on to the next one’? This guy has as much right to vote as anybody else in here!”

Media wishing to interview Barry Farber, please contact [email protected].

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