After reviewing the nonsensical speeches by Ashley Judd, Madonna and Michael Moore, the CIA has decided to include torture sessions that would require Islamic militants to listen to this tripe over and over again.
A recent test has shown that the prisoners either eventually tell us what we want to know or kill themselves, savings us the trouble.
Using a scale of 1 to 5 taxable but unused tampons – paying tribute to Ashley Judd's speech – CIA interrogators gave this method a very strong 4 tampon rating.
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A small number of the CIA integrators who failed to leave the room as the speakers blared this tripe had to be temporarily prescribed strong psychological drugs to relieve the unintended effects. Luckily, far too many Hollywood actors fail to take their daily meds, making the required medication widely available.