“Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun? One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever. The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose.”
– Ecclesiastes 1:2-5
Sometimes it’s the small victories in life that bring the most satisfaction.
Back in January, I wrote a column headlined, “Why I hate Trader Joe’s,” that was read by nearly half a million people and commented on by hundreds.
I wasn’t surprised that more people paid attention to this daily commentary than those I have written about, say, the potential for imminent destruction at the hands of a nuclear North Korea or what the Kingdom of God will actually be like.
After 42 years in daily journalism, I’ve learned that people relate to the familiar, everyday matters in their lives – like Trader Joe’s and good marinara sauce.
The reason I was so angry with Trader Joe’s was that the multinational corporate chain dropped my favorite marinara sauce. People obviously could relate. I got lots of advice. People offered to send recipes and even their own homemade pasta sauce. I got apologetic correspondence from Trader Joe’s corporate headquarters. I got thoughtful and sympathetic letters. It became a big thing.
Since I know there are as many as a half-million people out there waiting for an update on this situation, I thought I would bring you the news of my total victory over the forces of injustice.
My favorite marinara sauce is back at Trader Joe’s.
After a personal boycott of the establishment for several months, I decided to do a little recon to see if TJ’s was still in business and to determine whether the store had committed any other inventory outrages lately.
But I was pleasantly surprised to find the store had capitulated, surrendered, caved, knuckled under to righteous pressure by bringing back the sauce in a big way. So I stocked up my cart with all 40 cans prominently displayed on the shelf.
Victory is sweet.
My 16-year-old daughter was embarrassed by my avarice. I told her: “You don’t like it, don’t eat it. More for me.”
I had something to smile about.
It may seem like a trivial thing to you. To me, it was like winning the Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
Maybe we can’t change the course of mighty rivers, as Solomon wrote. Maybe we can’t stop the wind from blowing. Maybe that which is crooked cannot be made straight. Maybe man can’t be fully satisfied in this life. Maybe all is indeed vanity.
But I had my moment of delight and contentment. I’m still feeling good about it. You can fight Trader Joe’s – and win.
And, if you can beat Trader Joe’s, maybe we can actually drain the swamp in Washington. Who knows?
I want to thank all those who came to my aid in this struggle. And I want to encourage you to keep up the good fight you are waging with the insanity that surrounds us.
Now, I know what some of you are thinking: “Really, Farah, canned marinara sauce? Who eats canned marinara sauce? Don’t you know nothing good comes out of a can?”
I understand. As someone who regularly makes, from scratch, the best marinara sauce money can’t buy, I get it. But, sometimes, there’s no time. Sometimes we’re so busy fighting the man that we need a shortcut. And this stuff is as good as it gets – in bottle, can and even some of the best Italian restaurants I’ve frequented. So, don’t take that condescending tone with me.
If you haven’t tried it, don’t even talk to me about it.
As Solomon said, “Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart.”
Media wishing to interview Joseph Farah, please contact [email protected].
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