The dark underworld of anything-goes sex

By Jane Chastain

The Center for Sex Positive Culture is now hiding in plain sight in Pioneer Square, a historic district in downtown Seattle. The grand opening for the new location, formally the Wet Spot, is this Saturday – but don’t try to find the address. It’s a secret known only to its members, who pay a yearly fee to join.

Welcome to a land of gender identity on steroids. It’s an underworld where kinky sex meets the circus – the weirder the better. If you are having trouble juggling male, female, homosexual, bisexual, transexual and non-binary these days, put polyamorous and pansexual in your pipe and smoke it.

For the uninitiated, polyamory is the new catch-all term for various forms of non-monogamous, multi-partner relationships dressed up in psychobabble. A pansexual is someone who is attracted to any or all of the aforementioned sexual identities and presumably those yet to be defined. In short, anything goes with one of these individuals who desires to express himself, herself or itself sexually.

That’s the stated purpose of the Center for Sex Positive Culture and it’s sister “charitable” 501(c)(3) organization, the Pan Eros Foundation.

It’s a playground for the promiscuous – the strange, bizarre, the disaffected. According to the announcement for the grand opening, its Gallery Erato “boasts floor space for lots of equipment, including racks, spanking benches, and mattresses, all situated against a backdrop of exposed brick and beams.” Invitees are encouraged “to be the very first kinksters to play in the new space.”

It’s a sex club with a charitable arm. What a deal! Presumably, one can make a tax-free donation to Pan Eros, which houses meeting rooms and (soon) a library filled with books on kinky sex and various flavors of pornography. It also provides the CSPC a safe space for its dungeon and other equipment. This is where the mix of varies subcultures – bondage, dominance, submission, sadomasochism, swinging and polyamory groups – are encouraged to participate in public or private in various forms of sexual deviancy, dubbed, in their words, “sex positive” events.

What makes these events sex positive? It’s all a matter of consent. That’s a nice word, isn’t it? It’s been used a lot lately by the MeToo movement. As we have seen in many of the stories coming out of Hollywood from would-be or now famous actors and actresses, “consent” is often coerced.

However, this kind of thing is not limited to Tinseltown. I was introduced to the CSPC by a friend who was in an abusive marriage. After a short honeymoon period, her knight in shinning armor began to change. It wasn’t long before she realized something was wrong. He “came out” as polyamorous, a perfectly normal condition (according to him) that she would accept if she really loved him.

He arranged for them to see a marriage and family counselor. This was a positive development, or so it seemed. She would later learn that this counselor wasn’t your normal marriage counselor. He is on the board of Pan Eros and the founder of the foundation’s Consent Academy.

They went to his office. The counselor, whose website says he specializes in “therapy for people who live outside of normal” and whose counseling degree is not accepted by any national accrediting body, was soft-spoken and put her at ease. He seemed concerned about her feelings, but what followed was a subtle form of conditioning, designed to get her to accept her husband’s bizarre lifestyle where she would ultimately become his human punching bag. She described this “counselor” as “human Valium.”

Over time she was persuaded that their “problem” was hers due to her restrictive (loving Christian) upbringing. She just needed to loosen up in order to love her husband as he is and fulfill his needs. One of those needs, as it turned out, was a girlfriend. At first this was a platonic dating relationship, but overtime, with more conditioning, she “consented” to having this person live in their home.

It wasn’t long before my friend was at her wits’ end. She was far from home, away from her friends and family, embarrassed and afraid to confide in anyone.

I am happy to report that this woman was able to come out of that abusive environment and is now whole and happy. However, many others, who lack family, eduction and a strong support system, are not as fortunate.

Over time our society has been taught that we must accept the abnormal as normal and the refusal to so is intolerance. This began in our schools. Little wonder that many now fall victim to abuse from this philosophy.

Jane Chastain

Jane Chastain is a Colorado-based writer and former broadcaster. Read more of Jane Chastain's articles here.


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