It’s promoted as the wisest, most relevant, urgent news of the day by the New York Times and their pimps at Google and Facebook.

I’m talking about the “essay of the week,” the mandatory read and the most accurate headline ever to appear in an otherwise dysfunctional newspaper.

I speak of this one: “My new vagina won’t make me happy.”

I’m sure you’ve seen it, given the number of times it is flashed by your face by the non-publishers who know just what “great speech” to spoon-feed us and which “hate speech” to protect us from.

It’s so sad – the story of a “trans,” as this person calls itself, not male or female, by its own reckoning. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think of anyone as an “it.” I am incapable of thinking of any person as anything other than a male or female. For that “hate crime,” I suppose I will forever be considered a bigot.

I’m not completely sure what “My new vagina won’t make me happy” is actually about, other than the state of unhappiness of a “trans” about to make the last transition knowing it will not bring her happiness.

I’m not surprised. Is anyone?

If not, as I suspect, then why do so many pretend they are – “trans” and non-trans alike?

Look, it’s simple. You can be what you want to an extent. If you want to be policeman, you can be one. If you want to be a policewoman, you can be one. You can be a police dog if you like. You might even be happy in your career. But you can’t be a police-“trans.” It’s an illusion. It doesn’t mean anything – other than confusion, change for the sake of change, sadness.

Listen to the poignant prose of Andrea Long Chu, author of the book everyone is waiting for … “Females: A Concern.”

“Let me be clear: I believe that surgeries of all kinds can and do make an enormous difference in the lives of trans people,” she writes. “But I also believe that surgery’s only prerequisite should be a simple demonstration of want. Beyond this, no amount of pain, anticipated or continuing, justifies its withholding. Nothing, not even surgery, will grant me the mute simplicity of having always been a woman. I will live with this, or I won’t. That’s fine. The negative passions – grief, self-loathing, shame, regret – are as much a human right as universal health care, or food. There are no good outcomes in transition. There are only people, begging to be taken seriously.”

So, that’s what this is all about – people begging to be taken seriously? I never would have guessed it, would you? I would have thought it was about attention – the kind of attention a kid tries to get from misbehaving or “acting out.” I’ve heard there are people who are not transgendered who have a strong desire to have surgery – losing healthy limbs and whatnot. To me it all sounds delusional – the idea that this kind of behavior could make anyone happy.

Where do people get ideas like this? How do they catch fire? From where to do they get their appeal? None of it makes any sense to me – and never will.

So, I admit that when I read the intriguing headline, It didn’t race to read the story. I never had any illusions about a new vagina implant making me happy.

In fact, I never had any illusions about illusions – new ones or old ones – making me happy.

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