Do you like to drink soda?

I’m talking carbonated beverages, pop, seltzer water, club soda, Perrier, anything that fizzes.

For years, I only drank iced tea and hot coffee.

I knew it was not the best thing for me, but that’s what I liked. I basically couldn’t stand drinking plain water. So, if I wanted a cold drink, it was iced tea. If I wanted a hot drink, it was coffee.

The problem was too much caffeine.

Recently, doctors told me I better cut it out. It was tough to find a substitute beverage, until I recalled what I drank when I was much younger – carbonated beverages, especially seltzer. So that’s what I have been drinking every day, every hour, basically every minute of my waking hours.

I find it acceptable.

But as I looked into a glass of tiny bubbles recently, something occurred to me. In the minds of most of the world’s dummkopfs, blockheads and con artists, that fizz represents an existential threat to the world as we know it, a hot watery mass grave of man-made catastrophic climate change and the most dangerous “pollutant” on the planet.

And I just chug it down endlessly without a care in the world.

How can this be?

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y, thinks the planet will be destroyed in 12 years if we don’t stop producing carbon dioxide with our cars, planes and oil consumption.

I think this is the way she put it: “We’ll all be dead in 12 years, if we’re not serious about climate change.”

Not only is the fake news loaded hourly with tales of imminent doom and gloom for the Earth if we don’t transform our lifestyles, economies, diet and say goodbye to air-conditioning and heating in our homes, but even the corporate ads play homage to this apocalyptic charade, this monumental hoax, this epic manipulation.

Know-nothings from Al Gore to Barack Obama’s Environmental Protection Agency chief have called this gas, which is as naturally occurring as oxygen and just as necessary to life on Earth, a “pollutant,” which it certainly is not, and the greatest peril the human race faces.

But CO2 gets a bad rap from the pseudo-scientists and those who will look for any excuse to remake to the world’s economy in their own best interest. If it were a real threat, just think of how capitalism would address it.

Let’s suppose that instead of man’s activity on the planet producing too much carbon dioxide, it was producing too much fresh fizzy water. What might we do about that? Well, maybe we’d figure out a way to use the excess amount productively. Bingo! They have. They sell it to me in bottles and canisters of SodaStream. I along with millions of other thirsty people just consume it.

I jest, of course. But think about it. If there were really too much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, you can bet some entrepreneur would figure out a way to use it as fuel or dissipate in into space for a price. Wouldn’t that make more sense than forcing the world’s inhabitants to give up air travel and most of the accoutrements of modern living?

Of course, it would.

Instead of launching a campaign to force us all into poverty so we stop producing too much CO2, why not just put our best capitalist minds on figuring out how much it might cost to eliminate the excess gas? If we’re so good at producing it that it is killing us, there’s likely a cost-effective way to get rid of the carbon dioxide, burn it up, use it, grow more abundant trees and crops.

In other words, if you’ve got too much of something, use it!

A number of start-ups are actually working on just such a plan – some of them involving billionaire investors you would know. No, they’re not making soft drinks, but they are looking at ways of sucking CO2 out of the atmosphere or even changing it into another molecule altogether.

You can bet if they are successful, many of the false prophets of doom will be disappointed.

Note: Read our discussion guidelines before commenting.