Rachel Maddow

Rachel Maddow

A vast population in America apparently is suffering from special counsel Robert Mueller’s “Russia collusion” report, which cleared President Trump.

They are the journalists who for nearly two years have been pontificating about the president’s “treason” and the need to remove his “stain” from the presidency.

Brent Bozell, president of the Media Research Center, which monitors those journalists, explained the trauma.

“The Mueller report is now out and we’ve seen that President Trump has been completely vindicated. But we’ve seen something else. Since that report came out, we’ve seen many people all over America, especially on Capitol Hill and in the national news media, suffering. They are looking down. You see them. They are walking across the street muttering to themselves, maybe walking into walls. They are wondering how it could have happened? How in the world was this president vindicated? They are suffering from a very special condition called CDS. Collusion Delusion Syndrome.”

So the MRC is offering help.

In a video, Bozell announced plans to send “a special care package to every member of the news media and on Capitol Hill suffering from CDS.”

“There are many liberals today who need the MRC Emergency CDS care package. But we are sending them to the special few that I know you and I like the most. We are sending them to CNN and Jim Acosta and also to Brian Stelter. We are sending them up to MSNBC for Rachel Maddow.”

MRC said: “CDS is caused by that belief that no matter how much evidence is there that shows that he is innocent, President Trump should be in prison. What can we do for people suffering from CDS? The Media Research Center, with your help, is sending a special care package to every member of the news media and on Capitol Hill suffering from CDS. Our care package, the MRC Emergency Care Package, includes a number of items of importance. We have a teddy bear, a Russian teddy bear, for them to hug. We also have a crayons book for those snowflakes who need to stay inside the lines. And a special box of crayons for them to use.

“For those suffering from CDS, they may need a stress relief bag of tea. And there it is. Or maybe, maybe you need to squeeze to get some relief. This is for you. For those suffering of CDS with migraine headaches, we have some Advil. Or maybe for impending ulcers, some Tums. For those who have to weep uncontrollably, we have some tissues. And finally, if nothing else works, a bottle of Russian vodka. And if that doesn’t work, a second bottle of Russian vodka.”

The organization also provided a list of telephone numbers for Acosta, Stelter, Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews, Maxine Waters, Adam Schiff, Nancy Pelosi and others who have been integral to the campaign claiming Russian collusion.

Bozell wrote: “My friends, this is no laughing matter. Please, if you see someone with CDS, stop them. Hug them, tell them you love them. Tell them they’ll get over it. That one day they too will realize that President Trump is going to stay in office and there’s not a damn thing they can do about it.”

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