For the past few years, America has been treated to the constant drumbeat condemning “white privilege.” No matter what your station in life, if you were born Caucasian, you, my friend, are privileged. Tell that to the all the whites living below the poverty line in middle America.
Now there’s a new privileged class: the minority, politically connected, first-time offender. This is the new Juss-tice, and Mr. Smollett is its groundbreaking standard bearer.
But now you too, providing you are also a politically connected, first-time offending minority, can be absolved of all your crimes. You too can have up to 16 felony counts wiped clean. Not even the filing of charges against you will appear in the record. You too can perform community service for something completely unrelated to your crimes and have it count as “a just disposition and appropriate resolution.” You too can have your court records sealed forever and your public record erased.
What a deal. Where do I sign?
Oh, but I can’t, for I am not a politically connected, first-time offending minority. As a whitey white guy, I’m already privileged. And if I happened to pull a bone-headed, clearly illegal stunt like Jussie did, it will be my “privilege” to be indicted on all 16 felony counts, tried, found guilty, perp-walked out the courtroom in handcuffs and possibly leg irons, and sent up the river for a period of time.
But this won’t happen to you. Not if you can check off enough boxes. Not under the new rules of social Juss-tice.
Maybe a hotline can be established, at taxpayer expense, for those who are first-time felony offenders, but simply lack political gravitas.
Just dial 800-4JU-SSIE. Our operators are standing by to connect you to the Cook County State’s Attorney Kim Foxx’s office. Foxx’s office will then forward the request to Tina Tchen, a Chicago attorney and former chief of staff to former first lady Michelle Obama, and as luck would have it, a recent hire of the Southern Poverty Law Center. And lest you think Foxx doesn’t have the clout, she was backed in her last election bid by none other than George Soros, to the tune of over $400,000. That’s a lot of cabbage for a local election. Gee, I wonder why?
A few simple phone calls later and all your felonious sins will be absolved and forever erased. At least that’s how it’s apparently gone thus far for Jussie.
And if you’re really lucky, and relatively attractive, you may even be offered a guest spot in an upcoming Subway sandwich commercial.
You may have to audition and be asked to recreate the night of horror Jussie had to endure – or not. The auditions will apparently take place on a dimly lit city street at 2 a.m. during a simulated polar vortex. You will be required to hold onto to your Subway sandwich while being beaten and lassoed. Bleach may or may not be utilized.
OK, enough silliness.
This case has less to with that fact that Smollett is black or gay than it has to do with his political connections in the corrupt city of Chicago, and that he knows Michelle Obama personally, having done multiple college campus events with her.
Mayor Rahm Emanuel was correct when he said, “This is a whitewash of justice.” He’s absolutely right, although I’m surprised no snowflakes called him on the whole “whitewash” expression.
And it’s why many complain that there are two systems of justice in America. One for the connected and another for the rest of us. I try not to think in those terms, but it’s difficult not to when a slam-dunk case like this is summarily swept aside because of the incestuous nature of big city politics.
If I feel bad for anyone or anything, other than the rule of law, it’s the way the Chicago Police Department have been treated. These men and women did an admirable job running down the facts of this case without bias. They spent countless hours and hundreds of thousands of dollars – and for what? They had this guy dead to rights only to have the rug pulled out from under them. It’s hard enough just being a city cop.
Let’s hope the feds can make this right.
