Warning: We're not as smart as we once were

You're excused if you have to read the following story three times to make sure you got it right. I needed five.

It seems an airline mechanic in Miami sabotaged a jet, with over 150 passengers onboard, in anger over a stalled labor negotiation. Fortunately, the system worked according to plan, a computer flashed an appropriate warning, and the take-off was aborted. The worker freely admitted his guilt in what could have been a major disaster. That unspeakable act caused widespread interest but no outcries of rage.

Just a few days earlier the story of the flaming dive boat revealed egregious failures in a tragedy that claimed almost 50 lives.

And while those anti-gun activists who felt so good about themselves for succeeding in promoting background checks before firearm purchases did not seem the least bit dismayed that the Odessa, Texas, mass murderer was a living monument – with red flags waving! – to the failure of the system, no authoritative voice has yet been heard wondering out loud what the value of background check legislation might possibly be if we are governed by those too stupid to enforce the law. And again, there were cries of dismay but none of outrage.

The airline mechanic, the flaming dive boat and the Texas mass murderer all helped fortify the notion that America is suffering a moral and intellectual eclipse.

The following story offers the words and melody of this complaint. In 1947, as a love-smitten teenager in Miami Beach, I made my way to a bookstore next to a movie theater and, pointing to the movie marquee, told the clerk, "I want a book that teaches how to speak whatever language it is that the star of that movie speaks."

The clerk promptly replied "Ingrid Bergman is from Sweden, and we have 'Hugo's Swedish Simplified' for $2.50."

I had only $2. "Do you have anything similar, but cheaper?" I asked.

"Yes, indeed!" replied the clerk."We have 'Hugo's Norwegian Simplified' for $1.50." Swedish and Norwegian are remarkably similar.

I bought that book and it lifted my life tremendously forever.

That's an interesting story but irrelevant to this conversation. Can you imagine walking into a bookstore today and dealing with a clerk who not only knows the nationality of a movie star but knows that Swedish and Norwegian are languages closely related?

We're simply not as smart a nation as we once were!

A reliable witness tells us he called a car rental service and asked if they had any branches in New England.

"Oh, no, Sir. We don't have any branches outside the United States."

A cynical wit who actually collects little stupidity sagas like that one signs off every single report by reminding us, "There's a great and growing danger that these people will vote!"

A client told his travel agent he wanted a hotel with an oceanfront view in Orlando, Florida. The travel agent told him, "Sir, Orlando is nowhere near the ocean."

"Don't hand me that!" replied the client angrily. "Florida is a very thin state." And a rather well-known gentleman who was on route to assignments south of the border lamented, "I'm looking forward to this trip through Latin America, but it would be a lot more enriching if I spoke Latin."

One would be interested – wouldn't one? – in the geopolitical mindset of the American student in Norway who, in the middle of an excursion, asked the tour director, "Are we going to be in Norway until we cross the border?" This seems indicative of the alarming number of Americans who fail to grasp the very basic concept of what the word "border" means.

Mention was made a few words ago of the great and glowing danger that these people vote. There's even a greater danger that others will vote for them. I don't mean to scare you, but to validate that fear, let's point out that the client who wanted an oceanfront view in Orlando was a sitting member of Congress!

And how about the gentleman who wished he could speak Latin since he was headed for an assignment in Latin America?

He was a sitting vice president!