The coup attempt: Now ongoing for 1,059 days

How can a stunt at a North Carolina Boy Scout camp in the 1940s explain what's going on in Washington right now? To me, it's perfectly clear. Finally!

Shortly after lunch on the last day of camp, rumors began circulating that this was going to be a big night for the entire camp. Apparently, every camper who qualified was to be ritually inducted into "The Royal Order of Siam." We'd never heard of The Royal Order of Siam, but it sounded very impressive and would add luster to our uniforms and merit badge sashes. And how might we qualify for this impressive honor? We had no idea, but the word all over camp was that everything would be explained around the ceremonial campfire after dinner.

And sure enough, after dinner, over a hundred of us Boy Scouts gaped in awe as the camp director and his entire high command appeared bare-chested and adorned with multi-colored body paint. The mood was set. We had no reason at this point to doubt the authenticity of The Royal Order of Siam, and we were honored to attempt to qualify so that we might join such a distinguished fraternity.

At this point, a drum roll and bugle salute signaled that the solemn process was about to get underway. "Welcome to this induction into The Royal Order of Siam," said a top-ranking member of the high command. "You will all line up in formation. I will lead the following incantation, and those of you who think you understand its hidden message should come to me and whisper what it is that you think you understand. If you have correctly understood the message of The Royal Order of Siam, you will join its prestigious ranks. Repeat the incantation after me."

He then raised both arms over his head and loudly proclaimed "OH WAH!" which we then repeated according to his instructions. We all shouted "OH WAH!" with great gusto.

We were then instructed to extend our hands straight forward from our shoulders and repeat "TAHGU!" The final instruction was, "with arms down by your sides," to repeat "SIAM!" "Now," said the leader, "Let's do the whole incantation together!"

And a hundred of us Boy Scouts thrust our arms over our heads and shouted "OH WAH!" Then with our hands straight out in front of us we shouted "TAHGU!", and finally, with arms at our sides, "SIAM!"

"All together now, and repeat that five times!" came the instruction, and the energetic incantation echoed through the pine forest from one end of Camp Greystone to the other. "OH WAH, TAHGU, SIAM!" "OH WAH, TAHGU, SIAM!" And then we repeated the incantation three times more.

Some of the brighter Scouts ran immediately to the leader's side, right by the campfire, and whispered what they thought they had deciphered. The rest of us, confused but undaunted, were then instructed to keep repeating the incantation, along with the prescribed arm movements. Now more and more students ran to test their understanding. All were correct. The rest of us had to keep on repeating the incantation until we either broke the code or gave up.

There followed now a steady stream of "OH WAH, TAHGU, SIAM!" and of Scouts who may have been a little slow but thought they had finally caught on.

After a few more "OH WAH, TAHGU, SIAMs," those of us who were still completely bewildered were beginning to feel embarrassed, as the other campers who had broken the code and been accepted were now laughing at us, ridiculing our lack of success. Finally, I and two other hopeless, hapless and helpless boys were the only ones still muttering the incantation, while the merriment of our more successful buddies grew more and more raucous.

At long last, and just seconds before the total evaporation of my self-esteem, it came to me.

Have you readers decrypted the incantation of The Royal Order of Siam already? Fear not, I'm sure you were quicker than I was to discern the hidden message, which was, of course, "Oh what a goose I am!"

(A slightly younger friend, when told this story, recalled that in his Scout troop, in NYC, an additional incantation was performed, which went "OH WAH, TAHNAH, SIAM!" Repeat it a few times and I'm sure you'll understand.)

What, then, does this teach us about what's going on in Washington these days? The above is a cute little test on how you fare at interpreting unusual messages. Let me now start at the end. There is a miserable, rotten, seemingly never-ending scheme to get rid of Donald Trump as president, and the perpetrators don't even care if the nation is harmed in the process. Nothing else matters to them.

I am a conservative of at least moderate intelligence, and yet I did not perceive this coup attempt at the outset, not the first time they cried "Impeachment!" nor even for the duration of the dreadfully painful campaign, nor even after the shameful "Russian collusion" probe.

I was embarrassed by Trump's frequent cries of "Witch hunt!" After the Manafort episode, the Michael Cohen disaster and the Stormy Daniels fiasco, I still didn't get it. But now I feel like that pitiful Boy Scout who needed a stronger vision than he brought to the campfire back in the early 1940s. It took "Operation Ukraine" to push me over into awareness that Trump scores about a 95 in my little book, and his impeachment adversaries come in at a flat zero! Even those who are among the last to catch on must now finally see what's really happening.

As one who grew up among overachievers, it's easy for me to understand why so many people want to get rid of this outrageously successful leader, President Donald Trump.

One good apple ruins the whole rotten bunch!