What is it about political activists and their burning desire to deliberately ruin holidays?
I refer to an op-ed written by some yahoo named Samuel Freedman and published in BuzzFeed on Christmas Eve. Entitled "You Probably Should Argue With Your Relatives This Holiday Season," it comes with a subheading recommendation to "Go ahead, ruin Christmas."
Ruin Christmas? On purpose? Really?
Yes, really. "Bring on the turmoil," sneers Freedman, concerning the impeachment proceedings against President Trump. "It is absolutely appropriate and approvable for blood ties to be subordinated to truth-telling at this moment of existential crisis. The normal standards of etiquette deserve to be violated when the conversation topic is whether a de facto monarchy should be enshrined by the Republican senators acting as Trump's Praetorian Guard." [Emphasis added.]
Unable to accept the fact that a president is moving the country away from the communistic principles he holds dear, this political activist is now urging "turmoil" and "recrimination" at family gatherings. "It's not that I relish the prospect of holiday gatherings exploding into recriminations," he claims. "In more ordinary times, political difference was just that – a difference of opinion, or theory, or analysis, and one that need not imperil relationships."
That's no longer good enough. Now Freedman says it's not acceptable for others to have differing opinions. Now he feels compelled to ruin Christmas because someone disagrees with him.
Freedman is an example of the joyless militant activist who simply cannot live without sucking happiness out of everyone else. My understanding is this is a classic characteristic of a narcissist. These people thrive on engaging in endless conflict, no matter the subject matter or the setting. In short, these are bullies spoiling for a fight.
Then – and this would be funny if it weren't so true – when the family gathering dissolves into arguments and tears, they can lament their victimhood because they come from such a "dysfunctional" family.
"A ruined holiday qualifies as a relatively gentle reminder that preserving the republic matters just a tiny bit more than making small talk and having proper table manners," advises Freedman.
Progressive militant activists believe every time and place is suitable for a confrontation. "You're morally obligated to call out your racist relatives at Thanksgiving," snarls an opinion piece by Amy McCarthy, who scoffs at the idea of being "nice to your racist, Trump-supporting relatives at the Thanksgiving table."
"Destroying families: It's what the left does," observed one weary commenter. Another person remarked, "And they say Trump is dividing us?"
It's a bit late for Christmas, but I'd like to offer a simple one-step answer to help militant activists >on both sides of the political spectrum get along with their relatives over the holidays. Ready?
SHUT UP.
No really, that's all it takes. Whether you're the host or the guest, your job is not to create misery and tears among the people around you. Your job is to be courteous. You'd be amazed the power of shutting up has on family relations.
This advice applies to both sides of the political spectrum. If you have family members or friends who don't share your views, the holiday dinner table is not the time or place to attempt a forced political or religious conversion. If you think otherwise, then you're just as guilty as the militant social justice warriors of ruining the holiday. Grow up.
If you can't shut up – if your sole purpose for joining family members is to harangue everyone else and make Grandma cry, if you rub your hands with glee at the thought of ruining a cherished get-together where people are trying to see distant family members, if you're so socially clueless that you'll actually bring up your particular agenda du jour and shove it in everyone's faces – then you're an evil little twit and have no place at family dinners. Stay home (or don't invite others to your home).
Psychologists tell us you cannot change anyone else. The only person you can change is you. That means you're not responsible for Uncle Bob the Trump Supporter's views any more than you're responsible for Jeremy the Vegan Activist's attitude. But if you're the Uncle Bob or the Jeremy, then control yourself – please. Think of Grandma.
No one – left or right – is going to change his mind by confrontation. That's why Freedman's advice to "ruin Christmas" by arguing with your relatives borders on evil. I can only conclude Freedman is a joyless narcissistic militant who simply cannot live without sucking happiness out of everyone else.
But it takes two to fight. If you find a "Freedman" at your table determined to "ruin Christmas," ignore his confrontational tantrums. No one can force you to participate in a negative conversation. Instead, turn to Aunt Martha and remark on the beautiful weather, or what a cute dog she has, or what a lovely tablecloth and where did she get it?
To all you – progressives and conservatives alike – who are able to join with family members who differ from you politically, and who can maintain civility during the holidays: Thank you. Your maturity and courtesy are deeply appreciated.
To all of you – progressives and conservatives alike – who deliberately pick political fights with family members on what are supposed to be precious family get-together: Grow up. Your immaturity and lack of courtesy are not appreciated. If you can't get along, stay home.
It's a crying shame when families can't assemble without airing differences, but that's reality. I know I'd rather celebrate the holidays in peaceful solitude than gather amid acrimony.
But then, I'm not an activist either.