(AMERICAN THINKER) -- If you were deported after doing prison time for sexual assault, drug-dealing, or other aggravated felonies, the New Way Forward Act could be your ticket back across the border. The catch? You must legally challenge your deportation order, but do not be dismayed. If this pending legislation is enacted, American taxpayers will pay your legal fees and pony up for your plane ticket as well.
Now teach your fellow felons to follow this three-step roadmap and get a piece of the American pie.
STEP 1 — Hire Your Free Attorney
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Under the NWFA's "ALTERNATIVES TO DETENTION," the secretary of Homeland Security must "establish programs," including "appearance assistance services." This is code for "Reverse Your Deportation with Free Attorney." If you were convicted of a serious crime, don't sweat it. The act redefines "serious crime" as a felony that would imprison someone five years or more.