Social distancing? An introvert's dream!

Let's take a break from dire news and examine – tongue-in-cheek – the lighter side of quarantines.

As the world panics over the coronavirus scare, more and more people find themselves restricted to their homes for the foreseeable future. This has resulted in a spate of helpful advice on how to cope with the difficulties of isolation. Examples:

• The family lockdown guide: how to emotionally prepare for coronavirus quarantine
• Coronavirus: How to protect your mental health
• How to Survive Isolation With Your Roommates, Your Partner, Your Kids – and Yourself
• A one-page, printable guide for preparing to shelter at home: Our recommendations for surviving boredom, loneliness, and the coronavirus

The advice is endless. "In the grand scheme of things, lying low for a little while is a small sacrifice to make for the increased safety of all," noted one article, "though it certainly will pose challenges, not least of which being to our relationships."

The underlying message is how difficult it is to forgo such enjoyable social activities as restaurants, movies, bars and nightclubs. Additionally, the writers assume the worst from being cooped up: family members will metaphorically eat each other alive, spouses will quarrel, and children will misbehave. The dire predictions go on and on.

TRENDING: Dutch government suggests masks could increase COVID risk due to incorrect wear

I really couldn't figure out what the fuss was about. I mean, how hard can it be to curb one's social life and just stay home? This article documents a few typical reactions from those struggling with the lockdown:

"I'm supposed to stay home, work from home, no cafes, no get-togethers. I can't even go to a restaurant. I'm losing it."

"I have been crying on and off since hanging up from a team call, and I don't even like half the people on my team. I didn't realize just how desperate I was for human contact."

"I went to the store with gloves and a face mask yesterday just to see people. And I'm picking stuff up from my parents' front porch that they left outside and I was like, 'Please wave at me!'"

Can you feel their pain?

As with so many others, our family has been following all the recommended social-distancing guidelines. But except for financial anxieties (which we share), I was clueless why so many consider isolation a fate worse than death. Why is there so much fretful, angst-filled advice on how to endure a lockdown?

An Australian columnist named Emma Jane nailed the answer in a piece entitled "Coronavirus has led to calls for self-isolation – and introverts are the experts at quarantine."

Aha. That's the heart of the matter. Introverts are experts at quarantining. Finally, this misunderstood subgroup is given some respect!

Emma Jane notes: "As the world worries about the least-infectious way to do anything short of locking down in a bunker sheathed in protective toilet paper, there's one group of social-distancing experts governments have yet to consult. I speak, of course, of introverts. Those of us suffering this much-maligned and misunderstood condition have years of anti-social expertise we'd be more than willing to share (just so long as the whole conversation is wrapped up in five minutes and doesn't take place at any sort of soirée)."

Introverts have never been understood by the extroverted majority, which assume quiet types are flawed and need "fixing." Extroverts assume introverts are unhappy in their solitude and should get out more. The world revolves around extroverts, and as a result most people don't understand recluses. After all, humans are sociable creatures who crave interaction with others, right?

But not everyone wants constant socialization, nor can introverts be "fixed." In fact, introversion may be biological – embedded in our DNA. This article notes: "Introverts have a lot of the chemical that makes them feel stimulated; extroverts don't have so much. This is why introverts tend to avoid crowded places or deadlines. … As an introvert, you are more energized by spending time on your own, or in very small intimate groups of people you trust. So when you are out in a social environment that is very highly stimulating, what happens is that while the extrovert gets more and more incandescent and magnetic, the introvert starts shrinking and shrinking away."

Extroverts get their batteries charged by social interaction, so the more social time they get, the happier and more energized they become. They thrive on social situations. Solitude is boring, depressing and something to avoid. Social distancing? A horrible fate.

But socialization for introverts is like eating hot chili peppers: a little goes a long way. Too much socializing mentally exhausts (rather than exhilarates) introverts. They need a lot of alone time to recharge their batteries. Social distancing? Bring it on!

Now, in a strange twist of fate, extroverts are being forced to act like introverts. Ouch.

The fretful advice on how extroverts can cope with solitude is being mocked on social media. Some examples:

"A toast! to those excluding themselves from human interaction before it was cool."

"Extroverts have been telling us for years to 'get outside our comfort zone' and leave the house. This may be the first time they're told to go outside their comfort zone and stay in."

"I've been preparing for this moment my entire life."

"Coronavirus, a dangerous infection or an introvert's dream?"

"It's like I have to change literally nothing in my behavior to accommodate an outbreak."

"So coronavirus is making extroverts feel how introverts feel all the time?"

Emma Jane's article offers some advice: "While introverting is unlikely to come naturally to extroverts, extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures. During the current COVID-19 crisis, therefore, I recommend you ensure you have the following introvert survival items:

• Book
• Back-up book
• Break-glass-in-case-of-emergency back-up book for the back-up book
• Ceaseless internal monologue
• Round-the-body blanket and over-the-head blanket
• Tea cozy (in case you misplace your over-the-head blanket)
• Oversized and fully-fleeced leisurewear
• Solid nap plan.

Some additional advice from an introvert on how extroverts can survive isolation can be found here.

Who'da thunk it would take a global pandemic for introverts to finally come into their own? Or the requirements to not congregate in groups of over 10 people would become posh? I can do that with my eyes closed.

And now, I think I will.

Stay safe, dear readers, and enjoy the solitude.