For your edification, I would like to present you with a partial list of things that have been deemed racist and/or white supremacist (the two terms are often interchangeable) in the last few years. The list is growing daily, so this column can only be incomplete.
This list is only presented as a public service, so it’s up to you – as a proper woke American – to avoid all the things, terms, people, subjects, foods, books, pets, diseases, locations, beverages, fashions and activities that might offend someone because of your white supremacy and privilege (even if you’re not white). So without further ado, and in no particular order:
• The Winter Olympics are racist.
• Black holes (in space) are racist.
• Solar eclipses are racist.
• Milk is racist.
• Computers are racist.
• Fashion is racist.
• Museums are racist.
• Knitting is racist.
• Toothpaste is racist.
• Portland (the city) is racist.
• Marriage is racist.
• Interracial marriage is especially racist.
• Master bedrooms are racist.
• Time is racist.
• Traffic signals are racist.
• “The Chronicles of Narnia” is racist.
• Trees are racist.
• Natural history museums are racist.
• The Nutcracker Ballet is racist
• History is racist.
• Sponge Bob is racist.
• Babies are racist.
• Farmers markets are racist.
• Air is racist.
• Dr. Seuss books are racist.
• Concern over invasive plants or animals is racist.
• Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are racist.
• Lawn care is racist.
• Capitalism is racist.
• The coronavirus is racist.
• Owning white dogs is racist.
• Enjoying ethnic foods is racist.
• Endless Halloween costumes are racist.
• Hospitals are racist.
• Yoga is racist.
• Marble (for sculpting) is racist.
• English (the written language) is racist.
• English (the spoken language) is racist.
• Environmentalism is racist.
• Adopting orphans is racist.
• Black Republicans are especially racist.
• Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is really really racist.
• Asking questions is racist.
• A pro-life position is racist.
• The word “loot” is racist.
• Dieting is racist.
• Being nice is racist.
• Honors classes (in school) are racist.
• Immigration policies are racist.
• The Appalachian Trail is racist.
• Classical music is racist.
• Guns are racist.
• “Objectivity” and “perfectionism” are racist.
• Math is racist.
• Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony is racist.
• Cops are racist.
• Calling a riot a riot is racist.
• “Don’t tread on me” is a racist statement.
• Growing cauliflower is racist.
• Freedom of speech is racist.
• White wine is racist.
• The criminal legal system is racist.
• Capitalism is racist.
• Canoes are racist.
• Plants and fungi are racist.
• “Grandfather” clauses are racist.
• Libraries are racist.
• God is a racist.
• Self-driving cars are racist.
• Meat is racist.
• White meat is especially racist.
• Master’s degrees are racist.
• Camping is racist.
• Brown-bag lunches are racist.
• Veganism is racist.
• The porn industry is racist.
• PETA (the animal rights organization) is racist.
• Cancer is racist.
• Robots are racist.
• Tennis is racist.
• National parks are racist.
• Condemning racism is – wait for it – racist.
• And of course, being white – by default – is racist.
I could have come up with at least 50 more examples, but in the interest of space, I had to stop somewhere. Feel free to add your own examples.
These creative and imaginative claims to racism are nothing new. As Dinesh D’Souza put it, “Racism is the witchcraft of the 21st century. Now, as then, it’s hard to find witches. Many people haven’t actually seen a witch. Yet powerful people create public hysteria and insist witches are everywhere. Some are invisible! Now, as then, it’s about power and social control.”
The left can’t – or won’t – let skin color go. As their extreme demands become more hysterical and ridiculous, they eternally fall back on the tried-and-true claim of “racism” whenever they don’t get their way. Racism – and just about every other “ism” the left throws around – is a filler, a default term when they can’t think of any other insult to lob. The accusation has historically been useful because it’s impossible to prove a negative.
Character assassination is the goal. “If you are accused of racism, it is because you are a racist,” observes the New York Post. “Case closed. Apologize at once and cease being so hateful. That is the current standard in woke academic thinking on race relations. … Charges of racism are usually intended to smear and, with a little luck, destroy the accused.”
It’s a classic Saul Alinsky tactic: If you’re busy defending yourself, you can’t go after the other side. Another strategy is to accuse the opposite side of that with which you, yourself, are guilty.
I saw a meme sums it up well: “I was never an evil monster until you decided that was what I was. I never cared if you were ‘gay’ until you started shoving it in my face, and the faces of my children. I never cared what color you were, until you started blaming my race for your problems. I never cared about your political affiliation until you started to condemn me for mine. I never cared where you were born until you wanted to erase my history and blame my ancestors for your current problems. I never cared if you were well-off or poor until you said you were discriminated against, when I was promoted because I worked harder. I never cared if your beliefs were different than mine, until you said my beliefs were wrong. NOW I CARE! My patience and tolerance are gone. I’m not alone in feeling this way; there are millions of us who do – and we have had enough.”
I know this is a weary cliché, but it can hardly be improved: If everything is racist, nothing is racist. That should be abundantly clear by now. If you think punctuation or solar eclipses or the Appalachian Trail are racist, then you’re just being stupid.
But hey, we knew that anyway, didn’t we?
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