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“Was Jesus ever tempted sexually?”
The Bible tells us that Jesus in His humanity can “sympathize with our weaknesses as one who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15).
When I was a young single man, someone gave me a tract with the title “I Could Never Tell Anyone I Have a Problem With … .” The cover depicted a dejected young man sitting with his head buried in his hand. Solo sex is an uncomfortable topic that many people prefer to avoid.
In my library I have a 500-plus page book by an internationally known Christian author that is a comprehensive reference answering over 400 questions, yet there is not one reference to the subject of masturbation.
I’m addressing the subject not to be controversial but to help people who are wrestling with this challenging issue. Recently a “celebrity pastor” to Justin Bieber shared that “pleasuring yourself in marriage is a gift from God.” His controversial comments caused a stir; hence this commentary.
Talk show hosts, so-called experts on sexuality and “Christians” on podcasts espouse their advice everywhere. Celebrating premarital sex and masturbation, many refer to Alfred Kinsey and his “landmark” studies on sexual behavior. What they don’t tell you is that historian James Jones in his biography of Kinsey stated the pseudo-researcher was “a closeted homosexual and masochist who was obsessed with sex and driven by his own sexual demons.”
Ministering on sexuality for 50 years and married 46 years, I speak from a biblical worldview that brings liberty!
4 guiding principles
1. There’s beauty and mystery in sex.
Many Christians are hesitant to discuss what God was not ashamed to create and calls “very good” (Genesis 5:2). Jesus said, “The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).
The wisest human being was Solomon, who wrote over 1,000 songs. His greatest song was the “Song of Songs,” describing in poetic terms an amorous relationship between a maiden and the man she loved. It is a celebration of marital intimacy described with:
- Erotic dialogue
- Enjoyment of breasts (7:7-8)
- Intoxicating kissing (1:2)
- Sensual descriptions (7:1-9)
- Extensive use of sensuous imagery involving the mouth, touch and perfumed aromas (2:3; 2:6; 1:3)
Sexual pleasure is of divine origin, a gift from Almighty God, and enjoyed to the fullest when aligned with the will of God in covenant marriage.
2. God “richly provides us with enjoyment” (1 Timothy 6:17) yet cautions, “Do not arouse or awaken love” (Song of Solomon 8:4) before the proper time
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven … a time to embrace and a time to refrain. … He has made everything beautiful in its time.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-5).
Scripture speaks approvingly of sexual pleasure as long as it is within the God-ordained boundaries of marriage. Our loving Father prohibits premarital and extramarital sexual activity.
“You will remember the instructions we gave you in the name of the Lord Jesus. God’s plan is to make you holy, and that entails first of all a clean-cut with sexual immorality. Every one of you should learn to control his body, keeping it pure and treating it with respect” (1 Thessalonians 4:2-4 Phillips).
Our Creator’s brilliant plan is for singles to develop self-control (Galatians 5:23) in alignment with His plan for sexual purity.
Do you know the number one reason why marriages break up? Sexual problems? Financial problems? Emotional problems? No. The primary reason is a lack of self-control! If a person can’t control himself, he or she is vulnerable to multitudes of problems. “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls” (Proverbs 25:28)
3. We’re not to be mastered by anything, including masturbation
Scripture cautions us about individuals “appealing to the lustful desires of sinful human nature” promising “freedom” but leading to destructive sexual activity, addiction and ailments. Remember, “A man is a slave to whatever has mastered him” (2 Peter 2:18-19).
Jesus told us, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin” (John 8:34. He said to “continue in His word” to “know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).
As we endeavor to gain victory over temptation, we must resolve not to give up when we experience repeated failures. Habitual masturbation is not the unforgivable sin!
For centuries people mistakenly thought the “sin of Onan” (Genesis 38:8-10) was masturbation. This narcissistic man, whose older brother died without fathering any children, was covenantally responsible to produce offspring but didn’t want a child to get any inheritance before he did. So he practiced “coitus interruptus” and suffered for his selfishness.
4. Victory and guilt-free living are achievable
The term “masturbation” is derived from two Latin words: “manus,” meaning hand, and “turbatio,” agitation.
Old Testament references on this subject are Leviticus 15:16–17, Deuteronomy 23:10-11 and Leviticus 22:4, which could be the result of this activity or nocturnal emissions. Here God gave directions specifically for hygiene (similar guidance was given for menstruation).
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 emphasizes marriage as a safeguard for struggling singles who “burn with passion” (v. 9). Society says, “Indulge yourself” but God says, “Control yourself!” In the meantime, we are to cultivate “undistracted devotion to the Lord.”
As an authentic Christian, I “set before my eyes no unclean thing” (Psalm 101:3) and don’t “look lustfully upon a woman” (Matthew 5:28). I draw on His grace daily, “flee youthful lust” (2 Timothy 2:22) and avoid sexually explicit images that fuel passions leading to masturbation.
Standing strong
For individuals in certain circumstances, we ask God for grace and His wisdom in righteously dealing with legitimate sexual desire, such as widows or widowers reflecting on memories of their deceased spouse; living with an incapacitated mate; a spouse away for extended periods of time in military service, imprisonment, or lengthy business or ministry trips.
And for those asking, “What if I feel helpless or too often slip?” remember we defeat temptation from a position of victory not one of trying to achieve it! Jesus Christ came to provide us not only forgiveness of sin but liberation from its power! We have the opportunity to sin but no longer the obligation.
As a young man I put on my mirror a statement I would affirm regularly that aligned with Romans 6:6-7: “I don’t have to serve sin today. I have been set free!”
If you’re tired of being Satan’s Pinocchio, with him pulling the strings and manipulating you to masturbate, repent of passivity and reject the lie that this temptation is too difficult to defeat.
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Like Job, make a “covenant with your eyes (Job 31:1). Spend consistent time in the Word of God [“How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your Word” (Psalm 119:9)]. Affirm by faith your liberation from sin’s compulsive power as you develop self-control and live as an overcomer! There is hope and victory in Jesus!
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:19).
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