Washing machine wars

When we first moved into our new (to us) home in late 2020, the one frustrating thing was all the modern appliances we had to deal with. I'm pretty sure the entire suite of appliances that came with the house (washer, dryer, dishwasher, stove, refrigerator) were a "Costco special," since they all have the same modern steel appearance.

But just because they looked shiny and modern didn't mean they worked better than the mishmash of basic appliances we'd left behind at our old place. The refrigerator had a water and ice dispenser that promptly started leaking, so we disconnected it. The dishwasher (which I've never used) also leaked (as we recently discovered), so we removed it. The gas range works fine, but since it has an electronic ignition, it means only the stove top (not the oven) can be used during a power outage. (Our old gas range had a pilot light, so it worked fine without electricity.)

But the washing machine – a massive and modern front-loading monstrosity – was just plain annoying. This was supposed to be a fabulous whiz-bang appliance boasting the highest efficiency standards. Wrong. Loads of laundry took up to three times longer to wash than my old agitator machine. And I'd never seen a washer that gave so many error messages. Whenever there was an error, it held the laundry hostage (because the door locked), which then required a frantic scrambling through the user's manual (which usually revealed nothing), then a massive pushing and shoving to get the washer far enough away from the wall to unplug it (to reset it), and then we had to jiggle the controls again until the washer deigned to unlock itself (usually by running it on spin cycle or something). One time I did a load of whites that, I kid you not, took a total of about 12 hours to get finished. This is efficiency?

The standard heavy-duty cold cycle I used on this machine took almost two hours (exactly 110 minutes) to complete, and frankly it never did a good job cleaning the clothes. Why? Because it used so little water that sometimes I would remove garments that were bone dry. Grrr.

As for the dryer – also a massive and modern front-loading monstrosity – I literally never used it. (I use clothes racks to dry our laundry.) Needless to say, we were on the lookout to replace these useless hunks of metal. When we saw someone selling an almost-new Speed Queen agitator washer and dryer on our local buy-and-sell, we snapped them up for the incredible price of $150 for both. We got rid of the massive and modern monstrosities and never looked back. Our little Speed Queen is a gem: It washes a load in 23 minutes (I've timed it) and the garments emerge squeaky-clean. And since this brand of appliance is built to last, we anticipate years of happy use.

But, unsurprisingly, the Biden administration wants to do everything possible to disrupt this cheery relationship with our washing machine. In fact, it promises to make future washing machines even worse than the useless hunks of metal we jettisoned.

According to Free Beacon, "Biden's Energy Department last month proposed new efficiency standards for washing machines that would require new appliances to use considerably less water, all in an effort to 'confront the global climate crisis.' Those mandates would force manufacturers to reduce cleaning performance to ensure their machines comply. … They'll also make the appliances more expensive and laundry day a headache – each cycle will take longer, the detergent will cost more, and in the end, the clothes will be less clean, the manufacturers say."

Yeah. Been there, done that. It's frustrating. I didn't think modern washing machines could get any worse, but apparently I was wrong.

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The Department of Energy says, "This proposal builds on the more than 110 actions the Biden-Harris administration took in 2022 to strengthen energy efficiency standards and save the average family at least $100 annually through lower energy bills." [Italics added.]

Now wait a minute. Call me a dim bulb, but I fail to see how an "energy efficient" washing machine that takes nearly two hours to "clean" a load of laundry is more energy efficient than an agitator machine that takes 23 minutes. Am I missing something here?

The Energy Department did admit, however, that "maintaining acceptable cleaning performance can be more difficult as energy and water levels are reduced." Well, duh. You can't clean clothes in a washing machine without water.

But facts and logic are not stopping the Biden administration from pushing their new reforms on appliances, since they're "confident" manufacturers can rise to the occasion.

The Association of Home Appliance Manufacturers disagrees and points out how tightening the standards of washing machines even further "could put performance at risk" without providing any "meaningful energy savings." (Remember, 110 minutes vs. 23 minutes under the same heavy-duty settings.)

"They keep tightening the standards, and I'm not sure their reasoning makes sense anymore," says Travis Fisher, senior research fellow at the Heritage Foundation's Center for Energy, Climate, and Environment.

At what point does a washing machine become so "efficient" that it ceases to wash clothes? The Biden administration's new regulations seem determined to remove the purpose of these appliances – to clean clothes – and reduce them to useless hunks of metal. In fact, consumers are likely to run their clothes through twice to try and get them clean, thus eliminating any "green" benefit. This is efficiency?

This doesn't even touch how such efficiency standards would impact low-income households, where replacing older machines with "efficient" new ones becomes economically difficult. But hey, we should all be willing to sacrifice clean clothes to save the planet, right?

It's obvious the Biden administration is ignoring the Big Stuff – open borders, massive drug problems, international insecurity – and instead is choosing to weaponize … appliances. Methinks they have their priorities screwed up in a major way.

Now the federal government wants to "fix" gas stoves and air conditioners. I can't wait.

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