Election Fraud for Dummies – 2023 edition

By Scott Lively

A few days ago, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton gave a brilliant short talk at the Heritage Foundation explaining how the Democrats pulled off the election coup of 2020/21 and why the most insidious element of it can’t technically be proven. In appreciation for his courage and to help that video get more attention, I am dusting off and refreshing an article I first published two weeks after the (literally unbelievable) “Biden landslide.” Sarcasm alert, here goes:

Election fraud is the art of stealing or trying to steal an election by cheating.

When it is done by an individual it is called voter fraud. When it is done by a group of extremely powerful people conspiring together to take down Donald Trump it is called “the most secure election in U.S. history.”

Conspiracies are usually very difficult to prove because the people doing them work super hard to hide the evidence so they don’t get caught. The best way to get away with it is to do it in places where all the people who could expose or punish you, such as the police, judges, news reporters, election officials, etc., are your friends. Groups of friends with expertise in election fraud all networking together are called “Defenders of Our Democracy.”

Democrats really, really like having those kinds of friends, so the places that have the most election “intervention” are cities which have the most Democrats in power.

In some states, like Massachusetts, New York, Illinois and California, there are so many Democrat friends cooperating together that the whole state becomes like one big happy family of election networkers, and even certain “Republicans” (who are actually Democrats in sheeps’ clothing called RINOs) become part of the family.

In states like that, there is no one around to derail the train of progress by bringing criminal charges or even exposing election issues.

But in the so-called “swing states,” the Democratic circles of friends in big cities like Philadelphia, Detroit, Milwaukee, Atlanta, Phoenix and Las Vegas, are surrounded by what are called “hateful bigots” (also known as “conservatives”) who always cause trouble.

That’s why there was so much fighting over the 2020 election in the “swing states.” And that’s why these cities, especially the biggest ones, have such a long history of people going to jail for “defending our democracy.” But that’s survivable, because Democrats always find new friends to take their place.

Now, let’s talk about how election fraud actually works.

Basically, you have to make sure your guy gets more votes than the other guy. So when the voters get conned into liking the anti-progressive guy better than your guy you have to intervene by finding enough votes to prevent the public from harming themselves (and democracy itself).

The problem here is that the only people allowed to vote are those on the “official voter list.” The easiest work-around for this is to figure out who on the voter list isn’t planning to vote and to vote for them. (If they truly cared about democracy, they’d do it themselves, right?)

The key to this fix is to never, never, ever purge the voter list, so you can ensure that it has lots and lots of people on it whose votes you and your friends can save from going to waste. Some can be dead people. Some can be old people in nursing homes or mentally disabled people in care homes where your friends work. Some can be women who changed their names when they got married and moved out of state. There are many groups like that.

If you and your friends control the voting places on Election Day, that’s the best. In fully controlled voting places you can just harvest those unused votes right then and there from everyone on the voter list who doesn’t actually come in to vote in person. Easy peasy.

But in other places you can’t glean votes that way because of certain people called “poll watchers” who might not be your friends. In those places you have to ask the election officials for what is called an “absentee ballot” for each inactive voter whose vote you plan to harvest.

The “absentee ballot” allows you to pretend to be that voter and not get caught by any nosy poll watcher because you can send that ballot in by mail.

Wow, not quite so easy. It’s not that hard when you’re voting on behalf of a dead person, but it’s a real pain when you’re pretending to be a living person, and you have do all that work without anyone finding out.

Because of those things, this kind of harvesting only works when the number of votes you need to liberate is fairly small. (In these cases the “cemetery vote” alone can get you over the top.)

But what if your guy is so unpopular that the other guy will cream him on Election Day? There are only so many dead and cognitively disabled people you can recruit.

That’s when having friends in high places like politicians and judges really pays off. You simply get those friends to change the election rules to allow what is called “mail-in voting” (which should really be called “mail-out” voting because it sends ballots to every person on the voter list without them having to ask for one).

Man, does that make things easier! Because there are then many, many people you can pretend to be – so many that even when your guy is losing badly, you can just keep putting more and more “salvaged” votes in the ballot boxes until your guy wins.

AND there’s no way to prove that you relied on salvaged votes because mail-in voting avoids the most racist and disenfranchising Republican tactic of all: having to legally show your ID at the voting place!

There’s one more way to ensure a correct election outcome that is really, really easy. That is called “electronic voting.” It’s easy to defend our democracy with electronic voting because the whole thing is run by computers that can be controlled by the people who make the software. Thankfully, most of those people are Democrat friends who genuinely care about winning.

The biggest problem that can happen with electronic voting is when the other guy is SO popular with the voters, and your guy is SO unpopular that you have to stop the vote counting in the middle of the election night and change the software to help your guy catch up – AFTER everyone saw that the other guy won. Whew! That’s a tough one.

If you’re forced to do that, then there is a pretty good chance the voters will think something was wrong with the election.

If that ever happens, you’ll need ALL your friends to come out and work together as one gigantic team to gaslight the public into thinking they’re crazy for believing in “election fraud conspiracy theories” they unfortunately saw with their own eyes.

The worst part of that scenario is that even your sly-as-a-Fox News friends and other players who wanted to stay in the shadows and pretend they weren’t your friends have to come out into the light of public scrutiny and help you, and that could be bad for them. A dirty fight like that (even if it’s just a lawsuit staged like the WWF) could really get them tucker’d out!

But, that won’t really matter much in the long run so long as you get that election “certified” by Congress with the help of strategically placed co-conspirators. It might cost you a few pence you didn’t expect to spend, but once you’ve firmly taken dominion over the seats of power there will be lots more ethically flexible people who will want to be your friends. And eventually you’ll be SO strong that no one can stop you even if they know exactly how you’re cheating.

So, that’s how it works. Happy voting!

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