Years ago, I went on a 10-mile bike ride with my wife and some of her friends. She was really into road biking at the time, but I was new to it. As we started off on our ride, I thought, “This isn’t that hard,” and I left them all in the dust.
But after we reached our destination and had a cup coffee, I realized that I didn’t have any strength left for the return trip. They had to take turns pushing me on my bike. I had used all my energy for the first part of the journey and had nothing left for the last part of it.
That can happen in our lives as Christians too. We can start off with a bang. But the idea is to finish what we’ve begun, which is to grow in our love for God.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that everyone ultimately seems to turn into an exaggerated version of themselves. Or perhaps it’s a fully realized version of themselves. Cranky people seem to get crankier. And loving people seem to become more loving.
I’m not talking about a touchy-feely kind of love. Rather, I’m speaking of genuine love. For example, some people will say they love you, but they don’t show it by their actions. Yet the Bible says, “If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” (1 Corinthians 13:1 nlt).
Love isn’t so easy to define. And if we go by the definitions we find in popular culture, it gets very confusing. Yet the Bible says that we show real love by what we do. John wrote, “Let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions” (1 John 3:18 NLT).
If you’re not known for your love for others, then you’re falling short of what God wants for you as a believer.
After his resurrection, Jesus appeared to the disciples on many occasions. One such time was at the Sea of Galilee. The disciples had been out fishing all night, but they hadn’t caught anything. At dawn, Jesus called out to them from the shore, “Fellows, have you caught any fish?” (John 21:4 NLT).
The disciples said no, and they didn’t recognize that it was Jesus.
So, Jesus said, “Throw out your net on the right-hand side of the boat, and you’ll get some!” (verse 6 NLT). And when they did, their catch was enormous.
Then they went ashore, where they found Jesus making breakfast. And after breakfast, Jesus had a very important question for Simon Peter: “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” (verse 15 NLT).
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Jesus didn’t ask, “Simon son of John, are you theologically correct?” – although that is very important.
Nor did he say, “Simon son of John, do you have mountain-moving faith?” – although that is great to have.
Instead, Jesus asked, “Do you love me?”
Why is that important? Because you can be theologically correct and still be unloving. There are people who mark their Bibles, but their Bibles don’t mark them. They go through the Word of God, but the Word of God doesn’t seem to go through them. They are hypercritical, always finding fault and flaws in others. That is not love.
The apostle Paul said, “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other” (Romans 12:9–10 NLT).
Our love should be genuine. But let’s be honest. There are some people who are just, well, unlovable. They’re always irritating other people. Maybe God has placed someone like this in your life. You have to deal with him or her every day. God is saying to love this person and to do so in a genuine way.
Someone might say, “Well, I don’t feel love for this person, so it would be hypocritical of me to do loving things for them when I’m not feeling the love in my heart. Therefore, I won’t do anything loving toward them.”
That isn’t what the apostle Paul was saying. Rather, he was saying we should be loving while we repent of being unloving. In other words, do loving things whether you feel it or not.
The same principle can be applied to marriage. For example, if you feel like you’ve lost the romance in your marriage, my advice would be to go back and start doing loving things for your spouse again. Maybe you’re saying, “Well, I don’t feel it. And if I don’t feel it, then I can’t do it.”
Yes, you can. When you start being romantic and saying romantic things, I think you’ll find that your emotions will catch up.
The idea is to be genuine in your love.
An example of someone who was hypocritical in the way that he loved was Judas Iscariot. He appeared to be so devout. He even seemed to be concerned for the needs of the poor on one occasion when, in reality, he was pocketing the money the disciples collectively carried.
And when the temple police were ready to arrest Jesus, how did Judas identify him in the Garden of Gethsemane? He told them, “You will know which one to arrest when I greet him with a kiss” (Matthew 26:48 NLT).
Judas could have done it with a handshake. He could have done it by pointing to Jesus and saying, “That’s him!” Instead, he did it with a kiss. And the original language indicates that it wasn’t just one kiss. Judas kissed him repeatedly.
Ironically, at the moment when Judas seemed to be the most devout, he was the most devious. It wasn’t love at all.
It’s far easier to deal with a person who openly dislikes you than someone who puts their arm around you and says, “I love you so much! Let me pray for you!” And then they stab you in the back. That is loving with hypocrisy. And it is not the way God wants us to love.
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